When Tanya and Ashley Marum exchanged vows in 2019, they envisioned a traditional marriage. However, a single, candid proposition from a friend shortly after their wedding didn’t just test their boundaries—it redrew them entirely. Today, the Leeds-based couple has transformed from curious newcomers into the architects of a thriving, exclusive events business within the open-sex community.
The catalyst was a casual inquiry about a threesome. While Tanya’s initial answer was a firm “no,” the question acted as a conversational spark. “It sparked a discussion and it spiraled from there,” she recalls. What followed was a journey into the “lifestyle”—a world of swingers clubs and consensual non-monogamy that the Marums say has fortified their marriage in ways they never anticipated.
The Evolution of Exploration
The journey began with Tanya’s desire to explore her bisexuality. Rather than navigating this alone, Ashley suggested a collaborative approach: “If it’s something you want to explore, we can explore together and see.”
After initial experiences with other women, the couple transitioned into “playing with couples,” noting that the scene is predominantly structured around pairs. They quickly discovered that the open-sex community offered more than just physical variety; it offered a masterclass in communication.
“We can talk to each other so freely and we’re so open about our own bodies as well,” Tanya told Kennedy News. “It’s just improved everything.”
The “Trust Dividend”
In a society that often views non-monogamy as a threat to stability, the Marums argue the opposite is true. Ashley contends that their level of mutual trust has “skyrocketed” since they entered the lifestyle—a sentiment he says is echoed by almost every couple they encounter in the scene.
“There’s 100 percent trust and you understand what each other likes more than anything,” Ashley explains. “You want each other to be as happy as possible. You don’t get that very often in a normal relationship.”
This radical transparency serves as a safeguard. Both partners emphasize that because they are honest about every desire and discomfort in real-time, the potential for resentment or secrecy is virtually eliminated.
Turning Passion into a Premium Business
The Marums’ business venture was born out of a desire for quality control. Frustrated by the difficulty of finding like-minded people in their age bracket, they began organizing small meetups for drinks. Those intimate gatherings have since ballooned into bi-monthly events hosting upwards of 300 attendees.
However, their business model has raised eyebrows for its unapologetic selectivity. The Marums maintain a strict vetting process that includes a controversial aesthetic standard: they do not permit anyone they deem “unattractive.”
“I don’t want people there who the majority would think are unattractive,” Ashley says bluntly. “We want people to come that… are nice looking and take care of themselves.”
Advice for the Curious
Despite the hedonistic nature of their events, Tanya offers a sobering warning to those considering the lifestyle as a “fix” for a struggling marriage.
“If you have cracks in your relationship and you think it’s a way to spice things up, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons,” she warns. “It needs to be an addition to your relationship and not to fix something.”
While Ashley jokes that swinging is “the most expensive hobby ever,” the professional pivot has its perks, including complimentary access to global events. But for the Marums, the ultimate return on investment isn’t the free tickets or the business growth—it is a relationship built on a foundation of absolute, unvarnished truth.